Trying to be Normal
by Cisystematic
Summary: A story about friendships and apartments and cafes. -AUFIC- Rated M because characters say things children shouldn't read.
1. Chapter 00

CHAPTER 00: NORMAL=JAVA LAVA

**11:00 MONDAY. FINALLY FOUND RAN'S/KUDO'S APARTMENT BUILDING. KUDO CAN'T WRITE DIRECTIONS TO SAVE HIS LIFE. TAKE THAT ADVICE AND MARRY IT.**

I toss the piece of paper with Kudo's crappy directions in the trash bin before going inside the apartment building. I'm actually kinda extremely excited. It's been a couple months since the three of us graduated college and they decided to move closer to where I am so we can see each other more often. Haha I bet they finally got married. I dunno know about you, but things like that make THE REST OF MY LIFE. When I was a kid, not a lot of people really liked being around me since I have the worst temper in the world and I have an unhealthy joy for telling people's flaws and I like being egotistical and, well you get the point...but anyway, hearing people actually want to spend time with me is like amazing! Whoo! Of course I'm sure you're wondering, Heiji what about Kazuha? She's like your best friend! What happened to her? Well...I accidentally ruined our relationship...heh, but I'll tell that later. First I must address the fact that Kudo did not lead me to his apartment building but a FUCKING COFFEE SHOP. GOD DAMMIT KUDO. LET RAN WRITE DOWN DIRECTIONS.

I send a text to Ran, the smarter one between the two of them-direction wise at least, and walk outside. While I wait, I look up at the sign. Cafe Bake. Fun name. My phone vibrates and I read the text Ran sent me.

'Oh! Shinichi told you the cafe entrance. sorry! XP The apartment entrance is on the other side of the building. You'll see us waiting.'

Alright then. I look back at the cafe. ...one cup wouldn't hurt. Shouldn't take too much time and they should understand how much coffee means to me. Coffee is like the best thing that ever happened to the universe. Like if I could marry coffee, I would. Her name would be Java. Java Lava. She would have to live in like...a cup or something...MOVING ON. I walk back inside and luckily enough there's no one in line. The cashier, who looks 20 something and kinda cute heheh, looks up from her register and gasps loudly. I look around in case there's Frankenstein behind me. Nope. No one. I look at her again and she still looks like she's internally screaming at something.

"I know I'm like the hottest guy ever, but I never got a reaction like that." I lean on the counter grinning. Oh yeah I'm turning the charm on 100%.

She rolls her eyes frowning. "God, you're still egotistical." WELL. WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?

"You're the one reacting to my amazingness!" I get off the counter. Charm is totally down to -10000.

"I WASN'T REACTING TO YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LOOKS! I WAS REACTING BECAUSE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE CAME IN HERE TO MAKE MY DAY EXTREMELY MISERABLE. THANKS." She angrily gets a plastic cup writes angrily on it. "What do you want."

Someone had too much BITCH in their cereal this morning.

I glare at her. She's not cute anymore. "Latte." I hand her my credit card. She snatches it from my hands and reads it carefully.

"OH GOD," She says loudly. She reaches over the counter and pinches my face. "OH GOD THIS ISN'T A DREAM!"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" I rub my cheek. "DO YOU NEED LIKE A THERAPIST? OR A STRAIGHT JACKET?" There are people staring at us now, and I'm regretting my love for coffee.

Her coworker looks up from the milkshake she iss making and walks over to her. "Uh, you okay?" She asks.

"Keiko. Remember the guy I was telling you about when I first moved here?" Crazy cashier says before pointing at me. "HE'S FUCKING HERE."

Keiko gasps loudly. "NO WAY!"

OH FOR THE LOVE OF JAVA LAVA. "I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR COFFEE ANYMORE. GIVE ME BACK MY CARD." The crazy cashier hands me back my card. Suddenly, someone runs out from what I guess a small kitchen. He has messy hair, and is covered in what I hope is flour. For all I know I could've walked into a meth lab.

"WAIT NO! YOU GOTTA BUY SOMETHING!" He rubs his hands together. "DOVES!" he opens his hands and several doves fly out. The customers clap, and I look around completely confused. WAS THAT A DISTRACTION!?

"What the fuck is with this place..." I mumble. NEVER GETTING COFFEE AGAIN. DAMN YOU JAVA LAVA.

"So it was a latte right?" He asks, reaching out for my card. The crazy cashier watches me carefully. She seems a bit calmer now. Dare I say she looks even sad?

"Uh...yeah..." I say after a while. I guess they're going out of business or something since they want me to buy something this bad... Crazy cashier starts to make my coffee and Dove guy rings me up. I make sure I get my credit card back cause THESE GUYS ARE TOO SHADY IF YOU ASK ME... " Sorry about that." He smiles.

"Yeah...sure..." I still have no idea what the hell just happened. LIKE REALLY. WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED.

"My name is Kaito!" He says.

...I didn't ask.

"That's great." I say. He nods, waiting for me to actually introduce myself. "I'm Heiji."

I notice Crazy Cashier play with her hair behind him. It's a short bob, and it looks cute on her. Like I said, she's a cute person in the 3 seconds she wasn't crazy-but I'm a long hair kinda guy.

"Heiji?" He raises his eyebrows. "That name sounds familiar..."

"I'm sure," I say, looking around. I want to leave this place. I regret all of my life choices.

Crazy cashier hands me my coffee and our fingers brush against each other. She quickly moves her hand and looks at the floor. She better not turn this into a shoujo manga and fall in love with me. SHE BEST TO NOT. NOT DOWN WITH LOVING CRAZY FOLKS. I quickly walk out and go around the block to meet up with Ran and Kudo. They were standing in front of the apartment building like they said. I smile to myself. Man, it really has been too long since we last saw each other. They're laughing about something and as I get closer there's another person with them. Oh no is this one of those 'we want you to meet our new best friend/your replacement in our circle of friends' kinda meetups is it?

"You'll love being around Heiji then," I hear Ran say. GOD IT IS ONE OF THOSE MEETUPS. DAMMIT. TODAY IS NOT MY DAY. She looks over her shoulder and squeals in excitement. "HEIJI-KUN!" She runs over to me and gives me a big hug. "It's been so long! I'm so happy to see you again!"

"Watch out for his beloved cup of coffee, Ran," Kudo laughs walking over to us. "Is that why it took you so long to get over here?" When Ran lets go of me, Kudo give me a HUG. WOAH. OKAY. SO. KUDO RARELY HUGS PEOPLE. AND HE HUGGED ME. WE'RE SUCH GOOD BESTIES. "Stop smiling like that," he says when he lets go.

"Awww, can't I be glad my darling Kudo finally showed me affection?" I ask, laughing. Kudo rolls his eyes, smiling. Ran giggles behind her hand. I quickly check for a ring. Darn...would've lost that bet. BUT NO MATTER-THE DREAM TRIO'S BACK!

"I feel awkward," A voice says. Oh yeah, the other person they brought with him. Totally forgot he existed. I look past Kudo to see a teen who...creepily looks like Kudo. Oh my god. OH MY GOD.

"DUDE YOU GUYS HAD A KID WITHOUT ME KNOWING." I point at the third. Ran laughs loudly. The third flushes.

Kudo swiftly karate-chops my head. "IT'S ONLY BEEN A MONTH, HATTORI. WE CAN'T RAISE A TEENAGER LET ALONE HAVE A KID IN THAT SMALL PERIOD OF TIME." He calms down and gestures to the third. "This is my younger cousin Edogawa Conan."

"We're looking over him for the summer." Ran smiles.

"Oh..." I say. Kudo's family must have like amazing genes or something to look FREAKISHLY SIMILAR like that...I mean all genes help your family look similar, but you get what I mean. "Nice to meet you."

"Same, I guess." He shakes my hand. Ugh...teens...

"C'mon c'mon-I have cookies waiting for you that'll go well with your coffee!" Ran grabs my hand and leads me inside. Kudo and Conan follow, side by side and their hands in their pockets. They must be clones. THEY MUST BE. Ran presses the button for the elevator and we all wait.

I give Kudo a sly look. "Ran made me cookies. I'm more special."

He doesn't miss a beat. "They were the ones I didn't eat last night."

"And the ones I didn't take this morning," Conan adds. Kudo gives him a weird look. "Was I not supposed to get them?" Conan says angrily. "Not everything she makes is for you, you know. EVERYONE LIKES COOKIES SO EVERYONE EATS THEM," he exclaims, waving his arms for emphasis. We all stare at him, and he flushes from embarrassment. "I'm going to the cafe..." he mutters.

"Uhhhh...what-" I start, but Kudo cuts me off.

"It's nothing," he says, getting on the elevator.

I glance at Ran. She lets out a sigh and forces a smile. "Shinichi and Conan-kun are very similar. They like the same person." She whispers.

...oh…OH.

**11:20 A.M. IN KUDO'S/RAN'S/CONAN'S APARTMENT. SO SPACIOUS. MAYBE I COULD LIVE HERE.**

"You can't live here," Kudo says. He's sitting across from me in a chair, and I'm lying on the sofa. Ran's getting my cookies~

"Dammit." I look at the ceiling. "You know me too well." I look over to him and he's smiling. "I guess you're right though. Four people in an apartment is too much."

"You can stay in the building though." Ran walks over and puts the plate of cookies on my stomach. Heh, she also knows me too well. "Kaito-kun said that he wanted a roommate." She sits on Kudo's lap. Ran's more open with her affection now than she was in college. The thought of sitting on Kudo's lap would literally keep her frazzled for a day or so.

I almost drop the plate when I sit up. "I remember 'Kaito-kun'..." I mutter, remembering the terrible cafe experience. "...and the rest of his cafe circus..."

Ran claps her hands. "You met Kaito-kun already?" She smiles. "Isn't he nice?"

"In the random apparition of birds kinda way, sure." I pick up my coffee from the floor and take a sip. For some reason the feeling of touching crazy cashier's fingers come back to my mind. It's kinda weird-I feel like I met her somewhere before. But that's crazy. Like 'vegetarians pigging out on pork' crazy.

"He lives below us." Kudo rubs his forehead in frustration. I guess Kudo thinks of him the same way I do, and I only talked to Kaito for like five minutes.

Someone knocks on the door. "Ran-chan~" a voice says on the other side. Kudo's face contorts into sheer horror.

Ran, however, is as happy as a peach. "Amuro-san!" She goes to the door and unlocks it. Kudo quickly gets out of his chair and sits next to me.

"What's with you? Who's 'Amuro-san'?" I ask.

He shushes me. "Amuro is our landlord and he's the creepiest person ever. Don't make eye contact with him-" He whispers, and stops when Amuro pats his shoulder. I look up to see a tallish tan guy with dyed hair and all black clothes. Is he some kinda gangster or something?

"Shinichi-kun~" He smiles brightly, leaning down to see him eye to eye. "You shouldn't gossip." He turns to me and I kid you not I almost screamed. His eyes are like lightning bolts! ZAP YOU'RE DEAD. OR LIKE REALLY INJURED. Eyes cannot be that terrifying. "Who is this?"

Kudo shrugs Amuro's hand off. "An innocent bystander that should leave for safety."Kudo glances at me and jerks his head to the door. ROGER THAT. I start to get up, taking the plate and my coffee with me.

Ran laughs. "Shinichi, you're so shy when Amuro's here." DOES SHE NOT FEEL THE IMMENSE AXE-MURDERER VIBE FROM THIS GUY? "Heiji-kun, you can't leave without introducing yourself." I slowly sit back down and Kudo pats my shoulder apologetically. I'm sorry I couldn't leave either, buddy.

"Heiji-kun?" Amuro stands straight. "I like that name. Not as wonderful as Kogoro though," he tells this to Ran. She nods happily. Side note-Ran's dad name is Kogoro. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S HINTING AT. "Anyway, since Kaito-kun is busy with the cafe downstairs, I was wondering if either of you knew how long Aoko-chan was going to be away."

Ran taps her chin, pondering. "I think until the end of this week." She looks at Kudo for confirmation.

He nods. "Yeah, she's coming back Sunday."

"Oh alright." Amuro pulls out a notebook and jots something down. Probably the perfect time to kidnap a small helpless animal or something. "Every time I ask Kaito-kun he gets really tense."

"Maybe it's because he thinks you're gonna murder him in an alleyway." I clap my hand over my mouth immediately after saying it. SHIT. I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT ALOUD. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY THOUGHTS. OH GOD, I'M THE NEXT VICTIM. Kudo gives me a small wave goodbye. I'M GONNA MISS YOU TOO KUDO.

Amuro gives me an odd look before laughing loudly. "YOU'RE FUNNY HEIJI-CHAN. SO FUNNY!" He walks to the door. "Anyway, that was all I needed. It was nice meeting you Heiji-chan!" And with that the devil is out of the room and hopefully out of my life.

"HATTORI." Kudo grabs my shoulders. "HE CHANGED YOUR HONORIFIC."

"I KNOW." I grab his shoulders. "I'M GONNA DIE!"

Ran scoffs at us. "You two are so mean! He's not going to kill anybody. Amuro's as harmless as a doll."

Kudo and I let go of each other. "They said that about Chucky," I say.

"And Furbies," Kudo says.

Ran rolls her eyes. "You're just not used to him, yet. He does seem to like you a lot Heiji-kun. Maybe it's because you both have tan skin?"

I knew my luxurious skin tone would be the end of me one day. FUCKING KNEW IT.

**1:00 P.M. IN CAFEBAKE AGAIN. CELEBRATING MY VICTORY OF BEATING KUDO IN MARIO KART WITH MORE COFFEE. **

And, believe it or not, I wantto see crazy cashier girl again. There's something about her that seems oddly familiar, and I want to get to the bottom of it before leaving this building today. I might not visit Ran and Kudo all the time so this might be my only chance. I wait in line impatiently, and try to look over the people in front of me to see if she's still there. For some reason though, every tall person in the world decided to have their coffee at this time so I couldn't see a thing.

"HI! I MEAN UH—hi…hello…what would you like?" Another cashier, who is just as crazy, greets me once I reach the counter.

I sigh. "Nothing. I wanted to see someone else." Oops. Didn't mean to say that aloud.

The cashier starts tearing up. "I'M SORRY. I KNOW IT'S ME. CAUSE CAUSE LIKE I CAN GUESS WHAT KINDA DRINK YOU WANT AND IT'S REALLY CREEPY." She removes her glasses to wipe her eyes. "I'M SO TERRIBLE AT THESE THINGS!"

Oh geez. Ohhh geez. "Wait, wait! Don't cry!" I check her nametag. "Terumi! I'll buy something from you! Just don't cry!" I really hate seeing, much less being the cause of, a girl crying. Ugh, I'm remembering the day Kazuha and I stopped talking to each other…she was crying a lot that day…ANYWAY back to Terumi here.

"Okay…I'm sorry to start crying…I'm just really emotional…all the time…" She wipes her glasses and puts them back on. "I think it's the buildup of being of being afraid of everyone's thoughts, you know?"

"…I don't." I say after a while. "Is that what girls are calling the weird time of the month now?" I snicker at the thought.

"What? No. It's not that—I'm irregular anyway…" She tells me. TMI TERUMI. "But you know what I mean, right? Like people expect so much out of us coffee makers! IFI GET ONE THING WRONG THEY'LL HATE ME FOREVER."

"I think you're thinking too hard about it," I say. "I mean it's just coffee. What else can they do if you do something wrong?"

"…not pay me…" she mumbles.

Hah, actually forgot that point. "Either way, you can always make another coffee. It's not that big of a deal."

She nods, more sure of herself. "Right! Right! I can always try again!" She smiles. Awww she's adorable! Like the younger sister I never got! "What's your name, again?"

"Heiji."

Her smile drops. "Oh no. OH NO. OHHHHH NOOOOO." She covers her mouth, shaking her head. "I'M SO SORRY. I DON'T THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO LIKE YOU—I MEAN TALK TO YOU." She quickly hands me a cup of coffee. "It's on the house-I'm really sorry."

I walk to a seat in the corner of the cafe in complete shock. Is there some ax murderer that looks exactly like me walking around and everyone else knows he exists but me? WHY IS EVERYONE FREAKING OUT ABOUT MY EXISTENCE? Maybe I'm in a dream or something. Maybe Leonardo DiCaprio is sleeping next to me with one of those dream machines and just fucking around in my dream. I pinch my cheek and wince in pain. Damn.

"Oh is the inside of your mouth itching?" A voice says across from me. Ah, the wonderful Kaito is back. He happily sits across from me with a slice of cake.

"There aren't going to be anymore birds randomly flying out of one of your crevices are there?" I ask, protecting my cup of coffee.

He laughs. "No, no. They're away. Plus, the crowd can only be distracted a few times with that trick." He bites into his cake and hums to himself. I take a sip of my coffee "You're Heiji, right? I've seen or heard your name before…must have been in the hell hole," Kaito replies AS IF IT WAS THE MOST NORMAL SENTENCE TO SAY. I spit out my drink.

"WHAT!?" I get a napkin from the napkin holder on the table and wipe the table. "Uh...sorry..."

Kuroba lets out a snort. "Nah, s'fine. I probably should've expected that. It always surprises people. Anyway, the kitchen is the hell hole. I'm one of the bakers." He wipes the remaining off his shirt and face. "Anyway, what brings you here?"

"I was visiting my friends Kudo and Ran," I tell him.

"HEHEHEH..." is the first thing that comes from Kaito. I'm honestly not sure if I should even bother asking. "They're great fun." He grins. Nope. Not gonna ask.

"Yeah, they're nice. It's a great apartment too. I think I might move myself," I say.

Kuroba grabs my hand, excitedly. "No way! That's, like, the greatest thing I've heard all week!" What. "My girlfriend—" Someone's dating him!? "—is away at the moment—" I hate that I'm not surprised by this. "—and I'm kinda bored being by myself. You seem pretty cool and you seem to like it here, so it's perfect!" Wait…what? Whaaaaaaat? "Come on, I live upstairs. We'll take the elevator!" He pulls me toward the elevator near the back of the restaurant. Once the doors open he pushes me inside, not listening to my protests.

"Dude, I barely know…" I trail off when I see the crazy cashier again. She's serving coffee with Terumi and laughing at something. I said this before, but man she's much prettier when she's not being freakishly crazy. I let out a sigh when the elevator doors close.

Why does she seem so familiar though?

**1:20 P.M. UPSTAIRS. KUROBA'S LEADING ME TO HIS PLACE. I WONDER WHO'S IN THE HELL HOLE. **

"Here we go," Kuroba says, jogging toward his door. "The apartments here are super spacious for two people, but when Aoko comes back it'll be totes cool." He opens the door and lets me in.

"Why are there doves…everywhere?" I stand in the doorway, watching the flock of doves fly around the room. This guy has too many surprises. Next he's gonna say there's a dragon in the bedroom and it's my roommate.

"Oh, I'm a magician by trade," he says, lowering his voice to sound impressive, which made me chuckle. "Aoko just asked me to bake for her while she's gone." Kuroba walks inside, and doesn't flinch when the flock flies in his direction. "I was practicing a trick earlier and after releasing them downstairs I let them stay here for a bit." he replies turning to me with all of the doves on his shoulders.

Dare I say he looks kinda angelic like that?

"Huh," is the only thing I say as I look around the apartment. It's actually cleaner than I thought it would be. I guess you don't judge someone from their bushy hairstyle.

"If you move in, your room would be the one at the end of the little hallway." Kuroba points, giggling at his doves.

I walk through the main room to the little hallway and find the guest room. I sit on the bed and think about what I want to do. Moving out of my parents' place would be nice, especially since they've been dropping major hints lately. Yesterday Dad taped a piece of paper on my bike with GET OUT on it. Yeah.

And hey, I can talk to Ran and Kudo all the time and try to get on crazy cashier's good side. It's a win/win!

I walk back to the living room to see Kuroba putting the last of his doves in their cages."Oi, I think I'll take you up on your offer after all." I say.

Kaito laughs, winking at me. I guess that's the most he can do without scaring his doves. "Sweet! New roommate!" His excitement slowly fades. "Drat…we gotta talk to Amuro…"

I know that feel Kaito. I know that feel.

**5:50 P.M. IN MY NEW ROOM, ORGANIZING MY CDS. YEAH, MOVING IN WAS FAST FOR ME TOO.**

Today is like convenient day or something because not only do I have a new room and roommate, moving in my things was a breeze! All I had to bring were my clothes and cds and other personal things since Kaito has this place completely furnished. Like really, where is all his money coming from? Being a magician for some nightclub should bring in THIS much money. HE HAS MAHOGANY TABLES. MAHOGANY.

"Why do you have a Power Rangers poncho?" Kaito asks, looking through my closet.

"Because it's amazing," I say, taking the last few cds out of a box.

"But it's the most random thing—"

"I DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR LIFE CHOICES." I turn to him dramatically.

He snickers. "Man, you're weird." Says the guy who prefers chunky peanut butter. "Oh! We should meet your new neighbors! I'm sure they would love to meet you."

"Just like a cat would love to meet a fast vehicle…" I mutter, following him out of my room.

"What?"

"Nothing~"

We walk out of our apartment and go to the apartment across from us. Kaito rings a little jingle with the doorbell and you would never guess who opens the door.

CRAZY CASHIER GIRL AND HER EVER PRESENT GLARE.

"Hi-Hi!" Kaito waves. She smiles at him. Of course they're friends. OF COURSE. "I wanted you to meet my new roommate, Heiji!" She frowns again when Kaito gestures to me.

"I know who he is," She mumbles. "AND HE'S DUMBER THAN I THOUGHT HE WAS!"

"EH!?" WHAT THE HELL!? "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!"

She gets close to my face. "I DO KNOW YOU AHOU!"

AHOU!? HOW DARE SHE CALL ME-

wait.

She takes a small step back and crosses her arms.

But no...

wait...no...wait..NO...WAIT NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

"KAZUHA!?"

She rolls her eyes. "Took you long enough..."

Kuroba gasps loudly. "THAT'S WHERE I HEARD YOUR NAME. YOU'RE THE HEIJI THAT RUINED KAZUHA'S LIFE!"

What?! That's my title!? "I didn't ruin your life!"

"You made me feel terrible for a couple of months that counts for ruining my life." She says, leaning against the doorframe. "Anyway, you should go since I actually need to ask Kaito something."

"I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU EITHER!" I yell.

She points at me, extremely agitated. "I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO MOVE HERE!"

"I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO LIVE HERE EITHER!"

"Wait…what do you need to ask me…?" Kaito mumbles.

"FINE!" She goes inside her apartment.

"I'M FINER!"

"IM FINEST-I GOT BOOBS AND A VAGINA NOTHING CAN BEAT THAT!"

"IM THE FINEST OF THE FINE BECAUSE I GOT A PENIS!"

"WELL YOU CAN SUCK IT CAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL!"

"IT'S PHYSICALLY," I flinch when she slams her door. "...impossible..."

Kaito and I silently walk back to our apartment, not really feeling up to meeting the rest of our neighbors.

"...I think she won that one," He replies.

I sigh loudly. "I know." I go back into our apartment, ruffling my hair.

"Uh..you wanna…talk about what happened?" He asks, closing the door.

"Nothing to talk about." I walk to my room and close the door. I plop on my bed, and groan loudly.

This is sucky and awesome at the same time—like a lollipop that's been on the floor too long—GEEZ.

* * *

what's with me and late night posting? anyway i finally got time to reupload trying to be normal. like i said, i'm still writing this story i just switched some things around and look we're rated M! because eh, people curse a lot and you know sometimes body parts are mentioned so yeah.. and and sorry but its late...and...i might not make sense at the moment. BUT! chapter 01 is almost done. i got 4 more pages to write. hopefully you guys enjoy this au fic because i dunno i havent found any but if there are so please tell me cause i would like to read them. but this has nothing to do with the story. anyway, the revisions make the story just a tad faster. anyway. its 12:30...and uhm please enjoy and have a nice day/night/afternoon!


	2. Chapter 01

CHAPTER 01: NORMAL=ARGUING WITH MY BOOB SELF.

**12:00 THURSDAY. IN RAN'S/KUDO'S/CONAN'S APARTMENT. SLOWLY BECOMING A PERMANENT PIECE IN THEIR LIVING ROOM SET.**

"Cousin-Shinichi, I'm tired of not being able to sit on the sofa," Conan mumbles glaring at me.

"Dude you're playing freaking Legend of Zelda you gotta stand up anyway." I point at the T.V. I'm on their sofa again. It's the perfect place to get over the fact that KAZUHA STILL EXISTS. Sure it's been a couple of days since we first saw each other, but ugggghhh the drama that has yet to desist is still there.

"For once, I agree with Conan." Kudo leans in his chair. "Don't you have a roommate to bother now?" True, there is Kaito, but eeh…I don't really want to bother him about it. I feel like my problems would get in the way or something so whenever he asks me if I need to talk about something I always refuse. He seems so in control with his life and I don't want to mess that up. Hence the reason I'm in Kudo's place all the time. I can mess up his normalcy all the time.

"Yes, but no one knows me like you guys," I say, reaching for Kudo. He kicks my arm away, disturbed. I snort. Man, Kudo is the only person I know who truly hates human contact. Except for Ran's, of course.

Ran opens the door and walks in. "I'm back! Oh, and so is Heiji-kun." She takes off her shoes and sets her bag by the door. "Should I make you something?" She asks, pecking Kudo on the cheek. Conan stares at them. Wow, this kid's crush couldn't be more obvious.

"Nah, I already ate something from my actual apartment." I say, watching Ran PLATONICALLY kiss the top of Conan's head. Conan reddens, and continues playing Zelda with extra determination as if he's saving Ran.

Apparently his crush can get even more obvious, and by the way Kudo's fuming, Conan has yet to back down. TALK ABOUT THE PERFECT SET UP FOR A SITCOM!

"There is a strong reason to stay…" I mumble, still watching the three of them. "And a strong reason to buy a video camera…"

"Actually there's a stronger reason for you to leave," Ran replies as she takes her seat on Kudo's lap. Pfft, I don't think she knows how sassy that came out. "I talked to Kaito-kun at the café today and he was wondering where you were." She looks at me, waiting for a reaction. "When I told him you were probably with us again he looked so sad." She keeps staring.

"I feel like you want me to respond…" I say, sitting up.

"He thinks you hate him, Heiji!" She folds her arms, frowning. Ack—when Ran drops the honorific she either loves you or is extremely fed up with your shit, and if you couldn't tell it's the latter. "Sure, it's nice to see you again, but you're ignoring the nicest guy I know and I don't like it!"

Kudo taps Ran's shoulder. "I thought I was the nicest guy you know."

"Shinichi, not now." Ran glares at him.

Conan laughs loudly, but quickly stops when he gets the 'Ran death glare'.

"Anyway," Ran loosens up, and all three of us let out a sigh of relief. "If there's one thing I know about Kaito-kun, is that he likes helping people." She smiles. "Maybe he can have a different way to handle this little Kazuha situation of yours since he actually knows her more than we do."

Conan turns to me grinning. "Maybe he can teach you better comebacks."

"I hope you become a shoe in your next life," I tell him. Kudo fails to cover his mouth when he laughs.

"C'mon Heiji—opening up to people isn't bad," Ran replies, glancing at Kudo for support.

"Yeah, we don't want a repeat of freshman year." He grins.

What he's hinting at is how the two of us became friends. I met Kudo through Ran and I dunno he seemed really shifty then—maybe because he was always in and out of the hospital, but that's another story. I always butted heads with him because we're so similar. Finally, after Ran locked us out of her dorm room to 'become the greatest friends on the planet', we finally realized that we, mostly me, were stupid and became the greatest friends on the planet.

Kaito's not a bad guy either. He's actually totes awesome, and he would be more helpful in comparison to Ran and Kudo since he actually works with Kazuha…sigh…apologizing isn't my strong suit. I don't like doing it, but it must be done.

"Okay, okay…" I get up from the sofa and head to the door, making sure I make Conan lose a life in his game. "You guys are really awesome."

"We know," Ran says.

"We're too good for you." Kudo waves.

"LEAVE ALREADY—I FREAKING HATE YOU!" Conan yells.

**12:45 MY/KAITO'S APARTMENT. I HEAR A GIRL SINGING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR. I SWEAR TO ALL THE MILLENIUM ITEMS IF THERE'S A GHOST…I'M JUMPING SHIP.**

I open the door and see no one. THIS IS GETTING OFF TO THE WRONG START.

"Kaito!" I call, closing the door. "You have a feminine singing voice, but that's cool…I can live with that!"

"AAH IT'S YOU!" The girl voice screams. SHIT. GHOST. FUCK NO. "I'M DOWN HERE!"

I follow the sound to a laptop on the coffee table. Oh my god, I'm in the fucking Poltergeist movie.

"YOU'RE THE HARDASS THAT'S MAKING KAITO FEEL BAD! WHY I OUGHTA FUCK YOU UP WITH MY MOP _RIGHT NOW_!" She threatens.

I…uh…what…?

"Who are you and why are you cursing me out?" I ask. Boy, if I had a 5 yen coin for every time I've been asked that question…

"THAT SHOULD BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES, BLACK OCTOPUS." She leans close to the screen. Black Octopus? "YOU SHOULD BE SO GLAD THAT I'M NOT PHYSICALLY THERE OR I WOULD SO KICK YOUR ASS TO THE NEXT FUCKING YEAR OF THE FUCKING SNAKE. HOW DARE YOU TREAT KAITO WRONG! I'M GONNA GET YOU AND SO IS MY DAD—HE'S A POLICE OFFICER!"

You wouldn't believe how much this happens to me. Like honestly. You wouldn't. "So is mine. Superintendent Supervisor in fact."

She falters. "He's a SS?" She looks away from the screen, angrily crossing her arms. "WELL WHATEVER NO ONE CARES. IT'S JUST A TITLE."

Ah, so her dad's at a lower rank. Hehehe…

She continues venting at me, and I just listen because honestly I feel like anything I say will make her even angrier at me.

"I'm back~" Kaito calls when he opens the door. "Heiji!" He smiles when sees me, but his smile immediately drops when he hears the girl ranting at me. "AOKO!" He rushes over to the laptop. "STOP."

I stare in disbelief. THIS IS AOKO!? THIS IS HIS GIRLFRIEND!?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN STOP?! I'M ON A ROLL NOW KAITO. I'M CHIPPING AWAY HIS STUPIDITY ONE CURSE WORD AT A TIME!" Aoko screams, pointing in my direction.

"Aoko," Kaito starts. His voice is so calm in comparison to hers… "What did I say before I left?"

She crosses her arms, pouting. "Don't curse him out if he comes back to the room because we have to live with him…" she recites angrily, glaring at me. Hey, it's not my fault you're crazy. Also, can we just feel bad for me for a second? I know that's really vain to say, but I've been yelled at a lot recently…

"Well, I do want to apologize," I say.

Kaito turns to me, surprised.

Aoko grins. "I knew I was doing the right thing."

"Aoko, blindly cursing people out won't fix everything." Kaito shakes his head at his girlfriend, before turning to me. "Anyway Heiji, you don't have to apologize for anything."

"Yes, he does!" Aoko says. Geez, she never stops. But I guess that shows how much she cares about him.

"Yeah, I do," I nod. "I've been a jerk for no reason. Well, I'm not used to talking deep stuff with random people, but you're not a random person-you're my roommate and I should treat you as human." I say.

"Aw, it's okay. It's funny, you act just like Aoko." He laughs.

Aoko and I glance at each other. I don't think either of us can tell if that's a good thing.

"I can't believe you said that about me…." She mumbles.

IT'S A BAD THING APPARENTLY.

Kaito laughs. "I was gonna bring Aoko downstairs with me, but since Heiji's here I guess you two can have fun sharing your similarities! I'll be back!" He blows a kiss to Aoko and gives me a friendly pat on my back before heading to the door.

"Wait, wait, wait—do you think you could, I dunno, persuade your boss to waste like a couple more minutes up here?" I blurt out.

Kaito raises one of his eyebrows curiously. "Why?"

"Welll…" I rub the back of my neck. "I'm in the mood to share some….emotions…" I force out the last word. Man, I don't think I ever said the word emotions in my entire life.

"Kazuha emotions?" He asks, walking back to me.

I nod. "Kazuha emotions."

"PERMISSION GRANTED!" Aoko announces.

Kaito winks at her. "Thanks, Bimboko." He sits on the couch and puts his girlfriend-laptop in his lap.

Wait, what? "You're the manager of the café? Why the heck are you not here?" I ask, leaning close to the computer screen.

"Father-Daughter Vacation week—NOW SHARE YOUR KAZUHA EMOTIONS," Aoko orders, slamming her hand on her desk.

I let out a long sigh. "So Kazuha and I have been friends since we were basically fetuses. We've never been apart and for a long time, I don't think either of us thought we were going to be separated. In senior year of high school, I got this cool scholarship to go to America to study away and Kazuha was really afraid of not having me around and….she kinda confessed to me…."

Kaito and Aoko gasp loudly.

"What did you say?" Kaito asks.

"I told her that I didn't have the same feelings…and that it was better for us to be separated…and we haven't talked since then."

"Heiji, I know we just met, but you're a major freaking idiot," Aoko replies after a while.

I roll my eyes. "Aoko, you've been insulting me all this time. My impression of you hasn't changed." I sigh again. "Anyway, I thought that I could forget about what happened…but for some reason I can't—like, I think about Kazuha even more so. Even though, now we're just screaming at each other it's still nice to see her." I smile some.

"Oooooh?" Aoko and Kaito say, grinning.

I drop my smile. "No. Stop thinking whatever you're thinking." I point at them. "You're thinking something that isn't true."

"Who said we were thinking that you want to get it on with Kazuha?" Kaito asks, glancing at Aoko.

She nods. "Who said we were thinking it's totally obvious you want to love her down."

Kaito looks away laughing loudly. "LOVE HER DOWN?"

Aoko laughs. "It's the same as get it on!"

I get off the couch and head to my room. I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND BE EMBARRASSED. "I'm locking myself in my room now."

"Noooo!" Kaito says reaching for me. "COME BACK HEIJI! LET ME LOVE YOU DOWN!"

Someone knocks on the door, and I walk over to open it. Maybe it'll be a good distraction from 'LET ME LOVE YOU DOWN'—and NO, I do NOT want to love Kazuha down. I just want to be on good terms again.

"Oi Kaito—eehhhhhhhhh…." Kazuha trails off when she sees me. Of course, fate would have it that Kazuha would be here. OF COURSE. "I forgot you existed…" And of course she's provoking me to say something to her. OFFFF COURRSEE.

"I forgot your bad haircut." I mentally smack myself for saying that when I see her shocked expression. I think I may have crossed a line there…

"Well, I forgot your hat-hair!" She yells.

"I forgot your terrible sense of style!"

"I FORGOT YOUR STUPID POWER-RANGERS PONCHO!"

"Wait, what." I hear Aoko say behind me.

"I FORGOT YOUR DUMB MY LITTLE PONY COSTUME!" At this point we're nose to nose, growling at each other. Heh, I think I won this one.

She falters and stomps her feet when she can't think of anything. "GO AWAY."

"YOU WALKED OVER HERE."

She stomps her feet again and storms away. I close the door and let out a sigh. "I think I won that one."

Kaito nods. "Do you feel better?"

"Not…really…" I lean against the door. Really, I feel even worse.

"Then you didn't win anything, I guess," Kaito tells me.

"Is that seriously how you guys argue?" Aoko asks. "I feel like I just watched a scene from a Disney Channel movie."

"I can't help it! I don't like talking about personal things so I think of random stuff whenever I argue with someone!" I say.

"Actually now that you mention it, Kazuha's the same way. Whenever she ranted about you before she never told us what you did. She just made a point to scream about something weird about you—like your love for rabbits."

SHE TOLD THEM ABOUT MY RABBITS. UGGGH HOW DARE SHE. SHE SAID SHE WASN'T GOING TO TELL ANYONE.

"SHE'S OBSESSED WITH TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!" I scream.

"Wooow…" Aoko leans on her arm. "It's kinda crazy how you guys work…Kazuha's like…the boob version of you…"

Kaito almost falls over from laughing. "I'm getting that on a t-shirt I swear…." He steadies himself, coughing, and says "Anyway…heh…if you want to get on good terms with her you have stop arguing."

"But how do stop arguing with your boob self?" I ask.

Kaito grins and picks up Aoko-laptop. "Leave that to me and Bimboko here."

"Yaaay plans!" She claps happily.

**9:00 A.M. WEDNESDAY. IN THE HELL HOLE WITH THE OTHER CAFÉ WORKERS. I WAS LITERALLY BLINDFOLDED ON THE WAY HERE. **

Kazuha grimaces at my presence. "Why is he here?"

"WHY WAS I BLINDFOLDED?" I yell over her.

"All of your questions will be answered when Bimboko turns on her webcam that her father accidentally destroyed in the middle of the night." Kaito replies, clicking around on his laptop. Knowing Aoko, she and her dad are running around the house fighting each other with mops.

"Whatever you're thinking about Aoko and her dad is probably correct," Keiko says beside me.

"You're joking." I lean against the counter. "I've known her for a day."

"I've known her since we were three—she has yet to stop surprising me." She chuckles at this.

And as if on cue, Aoko shows up on Kaito's laptop, extremely fuzzy. "Sweet, it works! I actually thought I would need to get a new one once the rat swallowed it."

Keiko nudges me. "You see?"

Terumi twitches. "…why was there a rat…"

"WHY WAS I BLINDFOLDED?" I yell again.

Aoko is unfazed. "I was just getting to that Heiji. Calm your hair spike."

Kazuha snorts loudly at this.

"Anyway, I asked all of you here for a meeting because well we're adding a new addition to the team!" Aoko smiles at me.

Oh no…she is not hinting at what I think she's hinting at…

"Starting tomorrow, Heiji will be our new barista!" She claps happily.

"BANZAI!" Kaito cheers, popping doves out of his sleeves.

Terumi and Keiko clap. Kazuha and I are in complete shock.

"That's why you were blindfolded by the way." Aoko smiles. "Getting a new job has to be a major surprise!"

Kazuha leaves the room, still eerily quiet. Terumi and Keiko follow her and I walk over to my roommates.

"What are you two planning?" I ask.

"Planning? I would think we're helping, right Aoko?" Kaito smiles.

"Yeah, yeah! This is the plan we thought up." Aoko nods. "We all know you want to work with her in my café earning minimum wage. It's the middle class dream!"

I sigh and weigh my options. "Well…there _is_ coffee."

Kaito and Aoko give me dry stares.

"I see we have to take even smaller baby steps than we thought…" Kaito mumbles. Aoko nods in agreement.

* * *

FINALLY CHAPTER 2 UPLOADED! Along with finishing another semester of college and going through a bit of time without internet, this chapter can finally be read by the public. Hopefully it is enjoyable to everyone! I'm currently working on original things, but it probably won't get in the way with this. I'm not gonna say when i'll update again but I will say that this story isn't dead. it's just slowly rolling along the plot trail. Thanks for reading and please review!


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